I decided to do some spring cleaning and finally go through some of the old papers I had accumulated.  I have to confess, this is long past due.  I also tend to keep cards, letters and old movie stubs.  Why?  I guess I am just sentimental.  If I was a more organized person, I would put them in a scrapbook so they would at least be in some semblance of order.  As it is, every now and then I come across something from long ago, usually during a yearly purge session that brings a smile to my face.  It’s kind of like Christmas or going on an Easter Egg Hunt.  There is just an unexpected gift that makes my day.

The other day, while doing this purge, I came across an old love letter from a previous flame.  The letter that he wrote was written when our relationship was new and we were both unsure of what the future held, and if we should even proceed with a relationship.  In this letter he said some things that were very meaningful, that I’d like to share with you.

“I know we have the chance to have something special together.  I no longer question that.  In order to reach that, however, there is some risk involved and in this case, the risk is huge.  The more you are willing to risk, the bigger the reward will be.”

He was right.  What we had was special, and the risk was huge.  I risked my heart getting broke if it didn’t work out, as did he.  The relationship changed dramatically over the years, and my heart took a beating.  It may not have broken, but it did get battered and bruised.  Would I do it again?  Absolutely!  While the relationship didn’t work out, I have some great memories and learned some things both about life and myself.  But if I had never taken the risk of giving the relationship a chance to grow, I would have missed out on those five years.

There were some other things in that letter, but I’m afraid they will remain private.  😉   I should probably throw out the letter, but I won’t.  When I sat there on that rainy day, and re-read what my old flame had written it made me smile, and reminded me of days filled with laughter and nights of love.  In re-reading that old letter, I was able to look past the nasty breakup we had and instead remember why we had fallen in love to begin with.  By this I mean when I think of this person now, I won’t think of the final time we had contact, the bitter words we spoke, or think of this person with anger over how things ended.  Instead I’ll remember his words from this letter, and genuinely be able to look back on the relationship and remember the good times too.  In re-reading that old letter, it did remind me that we had some truly awesome times.  There are some memories that I will always treasure from my time with him.

Some may say it’s better to just throw out all things from the past but I don’t agree.  I’m not saying you should live in the past, but to revisit it once in a while, and reflect upon it isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  As a matter of fact, I think it’s pretty healthy.  You can learn a lot from the past.   This old letter made me smile on a rainy day and once again reminded me that you have to be willing to risk you heart to get that great reward of love.

This blog was written previously and added for content.

How many times have you heard the cliché, “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”? It’s one of those quaint little clichés your parents spouted off to you as a child, right? And the premise behind this, of course, was that once you were on the opposite side of that fence you would feel differently or will have regrets about your decision.
When it comes to dating I think you’ve all experienced the “grass is always greener” phenomenon in one form or another. Either you were the horse that jumped the fence and went off searching for “greener pastures,” or the one left behind in the paddock while your mate ran free. At some point, the one who did the jumping took a look back and noticed how green that grass was inside the paddock and wanted to return because they had come to the conclusion that “the grass wasn’t greener on the other side of the fence.”
Now I know you all date different people for different reasons and the same can be said for why you may part ways with those same people. You may let some people “jump the fence” because of a difference of opinion or simply because you want different things in life. You may “jump” because, although you loved them, they weren’t ready to love you, at that time. There are too many “what ifs” to mention. Each of you can fill in your own reasons for the “jump to the other side of the fence.”
So here is my question for you all to ponder; just so you know, there is no right or wrong answer. For every person the answer will differ depending on the persons involved and the circumstances. What is right for one, may not be right for another.

If that horse came back tomorrow, and was sniffing around your paddock, what would you do?

The way I see it there are a few options and I’ll list them for you. Would you…

A) Open the gate and let them in, but leave the gate open, so they could roam free (in essence, running the risk of becoming one of a harem).
B) Open the gate and let them in, but quickly close it shut behind them, because you don’t ever want to run the risk of losing them again.
C) Leave the gate firmly shut, since the past is best left in the past, never to be revisited.
Some people can learn that “the grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence.” It’s all a matter of personal choice as to whether or not you would ever let that horse back into your paddock. So, I’ll ask again, what would you do?

This is an older blog that I previously posted for another site. I am adding it for content.

I want to tell you a little story about Murphy. You see, Karma might be a bitch, but Murphy is a downright bastard. He comes along and tries to mess up all the best laid plans of mice and men (women too!) This is the story about how I beat Murphy at his little game and will continue to do so at every opportunity.

I had a date with a man that I had been seeing for a few weeks. The man in question was a total dream. Tall, dark, Italian, and sexy as sin. My goal for the day was to spend the day with him, getting to know him better, and for him to get to know more about me. That’s it.

It turned out to be the BEST date in my dating history. It was also the WORST. Now you may want to know how a date can be both the BEST and WORST at the same time? Well, I will tell you. Murphy showed up and brought his Law with him, but I brought my attitude! I was not gonna let that little punk get the best of me.

The day started with my date picking me up for a fun filled day on his boat. We were going to spend the day on the river, tubing and swimming. The weather forecast was for a sunny , 90 degree weather. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. It was perfect! I donned my bikini, packed us both a lunch, and off we went. We got in the boat and started down the river, enjoying the sights. There were sailboats and cruise ships and we had quite a few discussions along the way. Apparently, he was enjoying the sights along the way too, one of which was my cleavage. While he was perusing my assets, he failed to notice a tug boat pass. Now I don’t know if any of you realize this, but tug boats create a fairly good size wake. He didn’t notice that either.
Here we were, going along at a fairly good clip and then he realizes that we are about the hit the wake. HOLY SHIT! I have two seconds to grab on before the boat is airborne! I’m holding on with one arm, looking like Tinkerbell, flying! Then it’s back to reality and damn, what a hit! We bounced about 3 times and he quickly motored back. In the meantime, the bumpy landing caused me to hit my arm on the steering column, and my hip on the side of the boat. By time he got the boat under control and to a halt, I was on the deck, holding my arm, because I seriously thought it was broke, and trying to catch my breath. We both looked at each other and he asked if I was ok. What did I say to him? “Dude, if you didn’t want another date, all you had to do was say so! You didn’t need to try to make fish bait out of me! Jeez!” He laughed, helped me up and got ice for my arm and hip. “You’ll do,” he said.

The day progressed and we were having such fun. We laughed and flirted and headed for a little cove to anchor and swim. Silly us, we were so wrapped up with all the flirting that we didn’t even notice the clouds approaching until it started raining. Now, I’m not talking a little shower here, people. I’m talking deluge. The great monsoon! One minute I’m standing there, looking oh so cute, in my little bikini with my hair all done, and the next, I look like a drowned rat! Murphy has conspired against me! He took one look at me and struggled not to smirk. So what was I to do? I was freezing! It was pouring rain and I was cold. I jumped in the river. WTF! I was already wet, right? And since the boat didn’t have a canopy, there was no shelter to be found ON the boat, I figured the next best place was UNDER it, more specifically the bow. Besides, the water in the river was considerably warmer than that which was falling from the sky.

We played in the river, in the rain and he told me that couldn’t believe that I wasn’t freaking out about my hair getting messed up from the rain and the day being ruined. I told him that in all honesty, if we were going to be swimming, my hair would have gotten wet at some point, so why get bent about it.

We ate our lunch on the deck of the boat under a tarp. Not exactly the most romantic of settings, but then again, it kind of was. After all, it was just he and I, in our own little world. He mentioned the other incident with the tug boat. After all, the day had not exactly gone according to plan. Nope, it sure hadn’t. But in a way, it had, because I had planned to spend the day him. I accomplished my goal.

I had a great relationship with this man for a number of years. He later told me that if I had thrown a hissy fit over the little things, such as my hair getting messed up, he would never have gone out with me again, because he wanted a real woman who could handle life’s ups and downs. The fact that I could laugh at the situation and myself endeared me to him. It also gave us both great memories that I will always treasure.

The moral of the story is that you can plan who you want to be with, but not what life will throw at you on any given day. Sometimes you just need to be able to roll with the punches. If you sweat the small stuff, you may just let a great person pass you by.

Murphy might try to throw a monkey wrench into your plans, but he only wins if you let him.

I wrote this post a few years ago for another forum.  I am adding it here for content.