At least once a week, I see a post about “settling” for a person or hear from someone that I need to just pick a guy and “settle” down. Why is it people feel the need to “settle” or push others to do the same?
Parents, well-meaning friends, and even some co-workers will try to encourage single people to “settle” down. Why the push? Is it that they are so blissfully happy in a relationship that they just want to others to experience the same? Could it possibly be that they are secretly jealous that single people have the freedom that they may long for and that they themselves “settled” for something other than their ideal match? I’m sure that the parents and well-meaning friends just want the people in their lives to find love. What they need to realize is, is that encouraging someone to “settle” may not be the best advice.
Some single people are perfectly happy to be single and dating. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The idea that everyone needs to be coupled up like animals about to board Noah’s Ark is asinine. They may not be at a point in their lives where they are ready or willing to commit to another person. Some people may be at a stage in their lives where they are just looking to enjoy the moment, while others may be biding their time until the perfect match crosses their path. Life is a journey. The path we choose twists and turns along the way. Some people are content to travel that path alone throughout their lives, while others travel solitary for a while until the meet a companion that makes the journey even more enjoyable.
To me, “settling” means accepting something or someone less worthy than what you deserve. For me, that is not an option. I consider it a negative. It means that the relationship stagnates and does not grow, which is not a good thing in my book. Any relationship that you choose to be in should be one that continues to grow, mature and develop through time. It should consist of two people that are not only on the same path in life, but willing to run headlong down that path, eager to find the next adventure together.
I would much rather be single and happy, than “settle” for any relationship that is a poor imitation of the real thing. I am quite happy to date for now. Should the right person come along, I would willingly jump into the relationship with both feet. I am willing to wait for the person that is ready and willing to share all that life has to offer and looks forward to growing and exploring the path ahead with me, side by side. I am looking for someone who is eager to see what is around the next corner, not someone willing to sit on the sidelines while life passes them by.
I do know this… I will not “settle” for anything less.
This was previously posted in another forum and added here for content.